Recently Iâ€™ve hooked Phnomenon up with Google Analyticsand for someone with a marketing background and a firm belief in the importance of measurability, it makes me want to cry warm tears of pure unadulterated joy. The ability to work out campaign return on investment at the click of a button, for free, gives me a cult-like devotion to it. I have drunk the Google Kool Aid and it tastes extra-fruity. I havenâ€™t been paying forensic attention to my web statistics but now I can no longer avoid it for it is a matter of the true faith.
The offshoot of this has been the discovery that people find their way to my website in ways much weirder than I can imagine. For those waylaid souls who came here looking for something that I donâ€™t provide, here is the answer to your outlandish Google searches:
- â€œWhat to do if I get diarrhoea in Cambodiaâ€ â€“ Iâ€™m not a doctor but I do play one on television and as is my answer to all health-related questions: self-medicate. Check the consistency and frequency of your poop then follow this handy diarrhoea flowchart. Also make a note to self never to use the words â€œdiarrhoea flowâ€ consecutively.
- â€œFood what daddy yankee eatâ€ â€“ Aside from wanting to cast aspersions on your grip on grammar, I doubt that the food what Daddy Yankee eat is of Khmer origin. The Washington Post reports that Mr. Yankeeâ€™s reggaeton stylings and his cadre of publicists are fuelled by Japanese food.
- â€œJetstarAsia reviewâ€ â€“ I have developed an intense hatred for JetstarAsia because last time I flew with them, they cancelled my SIN-PNH leg and couldnâ€™t get me on a flight for another whole week. This parlous state of affairs resulted in me flying ignominiously back to Phnom Penh via Bangkok with a one-day stopover. Flying Jetstar is completely joyless. Even flying on the shittiest Third World airline has some semblance of joy because when the plane lands the pilot generally receives rousing applause from the passengers. The one consolation is that aboard the JetstarAsia plane is the cheapest place in Singapore to purchase a cold Tiger beer.
- â€œfish is important to Cambodianâ€ â€“ Your question is in the form of an undeniable statement. You are looking for The Ministry of Fish
- â€œepiphany apocalyptic hp caboâ€ â€“ I have no idea for what youâ€™re searching but you truly scare me, because somebody has been looking for this more than once. Feed this into the Googlemonsterâ€™s maw and Phnomenonâ€™s Cambodian hamburger review comes out the other end. Coincidence: I think not.
In addition, my humble Kambodzsai gasztroblog has also received a bucketload of visitors from Hungary since Hungarian foodblogger Chilies and Vanilia either arrived in Indochina or has just shown a sudden interest in the region. My Hungarian is not so good.