Drinking the Google Kool Aid

Recently I’ve hooked Phnomenon up with Google Analyticsand for someone with a marketing background and a firm belief in the importance of measurability, it makes me want to cry warm tears of pure unadulterated joy. The ability to work out campaign return on investment at the click of a button, for free, gives me a cult-like devotion to it. I have drunk the Google Kool Aid and it tastes extra-fruity. I haven’t been paying forensic attention to my web statistics but now I can no longer avoid it for it is a matter of the true faith.

The offshoot of this has been the discovery that people find their way to my website in ways much weirder than I can imagine. For those waylaid souls who came here looking for something that I don’t provide, here is the answer to your outlandish Google searches:

  • “What to do if I get diarrhoea in Cambodia” – I’m not a doctor but I do play one on television and as is my answer to all health-related questions: self-medicate. Check the consistency and frequency of your poop then follow this handy diarrhoea flowchart. Also make a note to self never to use the words “diarrhoea flow” consecutively.
  • “Food what daddy yankee eat” – Aside from wanting to cast aspersions on your grip on grammar, I doubt that the food what Daddy Yankee eat is of Khmer origin. The Washington Post reports that Mr. Yankee’s reggaeton stylings and his cadre of publicists are fuelled by Japanese food.
  • “JetstarAsia review” – I have developed an intense hatred for JetstarAsia because last time I flew with them, they cancelled my SIN-PNH leg and couldn’t get me on a flight for another whole week. This parlous state of affairs resulted in me flying ignominiously back to Phnom Penh via Bangkok with a one-day stopover. Flying Jetstar is completely joyless. Even flying on the shittiest Third World airline has some semblance of joy because when the plane lands the pilot generally receives rousing applause from the passengers. The one consolation is that aboard the JetstarAsia plane is the cheapest place in Singapore to purchase a cold Tiger beer.
  • “fish is important to Cambodian” – Your question is in the form of an undeniable statement. You are looking for The Ministry of Fish
  • “epiphany apocalyptic hp cabo” – I have no idea for what you’re searching but you truly scare me, because somebody has been looking for this more than once. Feed this into the Googlemonster’s maw and Phnomenon’s Cambodian hamburger review comes out the other end. Coincidence: I think not.

In addition, my humble Kambodzsai gasztroblog has also received a bucketload of visitors from Hungary since Hungarian foodblogger Chilies and Vanilia either arrived in Indochina or has just shown a sudden interest in the region. My Hungarian is not so good.

5 thoughts on “Drinking the Google Kool Aid”

  1. My biggest referral used to be the inexplicable “dogs with webbed feet”. Now it seems to be “Soben Huon”, Preap Sovath lyrics, and a lot for the Angkor Wat balloon.

  2. Hi!Your humble Kambodzsai gasztroblog:) is mentioned in my post as a great blog on Cambodian food..I discovered you a while ago through noodlepie and since I’m a regular enthusiastic visitor of yours! The post has been written after I returned from Cambodia (and Vietnam) where I spent two weeks as a backpacker tourist. I loved your country! By the way, our best food during the whole visit was in the Khmer Kitchen restaurant in Siem Reap. And the worst and only one after which we got some health problems, the Khmer Borane restaurant in Phnom Penh (which is mentioned as the author’s choice in the Lonely planet guide). Cheers from Brussels!

  3. zsofi: Cambodia is hard not to love and thanks for your enthusiasm. I’m not a huge fan of Khmer Borane either, but Khmer Kitchen in Siem Reap does a good chicken curry, if I remember correctly.

    jinja: webbed feet, webbed dog. Makes perfect sense.

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